It's been a while since I've posted, and lots has been going on. People have come into my life, people have left my life, old friends have returned, new friends have been made... and so on and so forth. It's been a fun few weeks.

Yesterday I went down to Salinas to visit a girl I met - we spent a good portion of the day together, and it was LOTS of fun. First we grabbed some food, then onward to her place - then onto her bed, mmmm. All kinds of fun things happened from there, but unfortunately we couldn't stay at her place - she still lived with her parents and her father was on his way home, so we continued on with our original plan - to head to the beach!

After forgetting to pick up some supplies and doubling back, we headed to the beach. I'm not sure exactly where it is we were, but it was awesome. I haven't been to the beach in years, and despite the fact that it was particularly cold that evening, I was glad I choose to wear shorts - it kept me from getting sand all over the place. We hiked just a little while towards a secluded spot she knew of, set down a couple of sleeping bags, got between them... and well, you know the rest. We stayed in that spot until a little past sunset, and then took off for food. All in all, a good day.

So I woke up today... and good GOD was I sore. It was that good kind of sore though, and oh so satisfying, hehe. I kept waking up and going back to sleep, and finally managed to get out of bed at around 3:00. It's been so long since I've gotten that much sleep. I'm not AS sore as I was, but it's still there, just a little achy.

I've got some plans later to meet some friends, and if things go well, I'll head to Edges with them afterwards. I'm thinking it'll be lots of fun, and it sounds like they have something specific in store for me. I'm excited - they seem like good people.

Current Mood: naughty

So, tomorrow is my birthday. Late last week, I had thought about calling up a bunch of friends and setting up some big dinner thing, just getting a bunch of people together to have fun and whatnot and all that.

Then I got sick. Again.

What is it with this? Maybe I should be prescribed a bubble, because my immune system seems to be failing at keeping out teh g3rms.

Insomnia is probably not helping. Neither did that intense heatwave.

Nonetheless, hopefully I'll be able to relax tomorrow and over the weekend, as I've gotten from now till Monday off, kind of a mini-vacation. Sweet. At least I know now that I won't be MOVING on my birthday weekend. That would've sucked, just a little bit.

Current Mood: calm

Well, I've certainly been keeping busy. But busy in a good way, this time. At the beginning of this week it was because we had more sick calls, so I ended up working some more overtime. On Wed and Thurs I had a couple of dates with a couple of women... both of which went really well. Then on Friday night I got an invitation to come play... so I did. It was nice. I got to meet somebody new, then after he left I was part of a wonderful scene involving floggers, paddles (good god do those things hurt) and knives... *shivers* Mmmm... Now this is the kind of busy I can handle! Hehe. Life is good.

Current Mood: content

Wow, what a busy weekend! I got my hair cut (finally) Friday morning, and got to hang out with my mom afterwards. She's getting ready to move as well, although unlike myself, she has a definite date she'll be out of the house. Unfortunately, it looks like she'll be selling it outside of the family. That's kind of a shame, but mostly because of the sentimentality of losing the house I grew up in. Otherwise, I'm totally happy for her, and glad she's doing what she wants for herself.

Later that night, I got an e-mail from a friend online who I'd forgotten would be in town. I hung out with her for a little while, nothing too spectacular, but worth noting. Apparently she's coming back in June or July, so maybe I'll get to spend more time with her than the hour and a half or so I spent in her hotel lobby before she had to leave to get on the plane. We hadn't talked much before that, but she seems like a cool chick. Randomness.

Saturday night found me at Edges, where it was particularly quiet for a Saturday (I imagine everyone was gearing up for the kinky flea and/or Easter the following day). I had previously arranged to be stuck with needles by B, a cute kinky girl I've spent a little bit of time with. A little while after watching her do a scene with her boy, she laid me down on a table and did my back... I don't really remember how many needles she used (six? I think) but I do remember floating... earlier in the night I'd spent a few minutes on the suspended wooden/leather bed/table thingey in the red room, and while I was getting pierced, I felt like I was there again, floating. It was quite a wonderful feeling. I love needles. Hehe. The scene finished a little late, but there was just enough time for me to come down from the wonderful endorphin rush before the drive home. B was a little worried about me driving home, but I reassured her that I'd be fine. I've driven home in worse conditions, for sure.

A break from the kinky stuff for a moment (and a bit of time on the geek stuff, I suppose) - after I arrived home Saturday night, I was playing some music on my computer, and all of a sudden... no video. And BIOS beep codes. Wonderful. I spent about 2 hours troubleshooting the issue, and finally thought I'd narrowed it down to a bad stick of RAM, and then when I put the good stick in and reassembled the rest of the system... it started acting up again. Same error, and it didn't matter what I did from there on out. I still have no idea what's causing the problem, I've tried a brand new video card and some new RAM and it just won't budge. Just what I needed... bah. Hopefully I can get this fixed - as much as I'd like to use this as an excuse to upgrade to a faster Core 2 setup, I didn't want to have to do it while I was in the middle of packing/moving.

Which brings me to today. After sleeping in a bit for a change, I got dressed and got directions to the kinky flea in SF! LOTS and lots and lots of kinky gear, there must have been a hundred or more different floggers in that building! I really didn't intend on buying anything today, but after looking around at some of the wonderful equipment on display - well, I couldn't help myself! I figure I've worked enough overtime to allow myself to drop some cash on a few nice toys. I picked up one of Panther's floggers, a lovely heavy Elk flogger that conveniently matched my existing flogger's length. I also bought a matching pair of paddles by Wycked Sensations - the design caught my eye and I realized that I don't own any paddles yet... so hey, why not?

Following the flea (and some unexpected drama - but I won't go into detail here) was Fandango, a party at the Citadel. I hadn't been expecting to attend, but C twisted my arm (literally, haha) and convinced me to go. And I'm definitely glad I made it. C&H led me downstairs, where we proceeded to have fun with blindfolds, cuffs, floggings, needles (again! Yay!), and other assorted goodness. It was a fun-filled evening for sure, and after we'd finished playing, there was some lovely suspension work going on nearby. Ah, to be suspended again... I think I'm going to start practicing knots and bondage. Hey, if I can't be the one tied up, I might as well do the tying, right? Hehe, it's fun to be a switch.

Well, it's getting late, and I need my rest. Have to make sure I knock this cold completely out, as I don't want it coming back for round two, particularly since I've been sick off and on for the past several months.

Current Mood: content

Yep.

And half of my department, too. I think one of my coworkers got me sick, but who knows. Anyhow... yeah, I'm really tired of being sick. At least this time I'm drinking plenty of fluids, getting some rest, not doing anything TOO exhausting... well, except for covering shifts at work. 50 hours last week and a few hours of overtime the last few days... well, at least I get paid hourly.

Other than that, things are going pretty well. I rented a storage unit and I'm going to start moving some of my stuff into it as soon as I'm able. Luckily I have a few friends who can help, but it would be nice if I had a dolly too. Maybe I can rent one. Shit, maybe I should just buy one, at the rate I've been moving lately.

This weekend should be interesting. Assuming I get better (and I'm planning on it, dammit) I have a playdate on Saturday evening, and it will involve needles. Yummy. I'm sure there will be other things involved, but I haven't actually -played- with this girl yet, and I'm definitely looking forward to it. The last couple of times we hung out, it was relatively vanilla stuff (except for the scratches she left on my back... some of which may leave scars. Ouch. And uh, oops.) so it'll be interesting to say the least.

And speaking of dates... I've been chatting with a girl I met on Alt and once she gets back from her vacation, we'll be meeting for the initial make-sure-each-of-us-isn't-crazy coffee date/interview thing. She seems like a lot of fun and I can't wait to meet her. She's definitely really into me. I'm starting to feel like I have more control over who I attract and what I do to attract them. This is definitely a good thing. It has begun.

Current Mood: excited

Well, it's been a while since I've posted, and I had just gotten into bed and was about to go to sleep, when my train of thought suddenly became crystal clear and I knew exactly what I could write.

Of course, that's when my modem decided to stop working. This needs to end, because frankly... well, shit, I'm really tired of having to fix my connection all the damn time. I wonder if it has anything to do with the funky phone lines in this place. Well, no matter. Where was I...?

I remember back when S and I first started dating, and how blissfully unaware we were when we were both experiencing tons of NRE, and we thought... well, hey, let's move in together! How could that EVER go wrong? I mean, worst comes to worst, we'll end up being really awesome roommates!

I remember when I was so happy about all of that, and everything was wonderful. I remember the reactions of everyone I was telling the Good News (because I really WAS telling everyone) and now... well, it makes more sense.

Nobody said "hey, you know, that's probably not a good idea, and here's why." And if they did, I probably wouldn't have listened, or written them off as not knowing the dynamic between S and I, and therefore, unqualified to give advice on what it was we were doing. They just kind of nodded, said... wow... isn't that a bit soon? And left it at that. Even my best friends kept relatively quiet, and just let me make my own mistake. I think I've figured out why.

When you see someone else diving headfirst into a rather large mistake, you have an uncontrollable urge to help them - and the more you care about them, the stronger this urge is. However, the more important the event, the more likely it is that they won't listen to you, or that they will listen, but still go through with it. I liken this to attempting to stop a fast moving train - you're on the ground, and you can see where the tracks end, and that disaster will soon follow. But the train doesn't stop, no matter how high you jump or how hard you wave your arms. You can physically point out where the tracks end... but the train says "nonsense."

I'm still in the process of cleaning up the mess from my train wreck, but it was definitely a learning experience, and so I can look back on it with positivity, even though it was surely not so good while it was happening, nor immediately afterwards. Things still aren't perfect, but most of the hard part is over. I'll get on with things.

But I see someone else's train chugging along, headed straight for disaster. And I want to jump, I want to wave my arms, I want to scream, 'stop, stop, for the love of god stop! Can't you see where you're going? You're doing it again!' But... logic and reason can't stop this train, nor change its path. And sure, maybe there's a possibility that the dead end really isn't one; maybe there's a banked turn I can't see, maybe there's something else that's beyond my vision. I hope I'm wrong, because I don't want to see another train wreck. But this time, I'm the one looking at things objectively, I'm removed from the situation - and it looks like for this train, it's only a matter of time.

Current Mood: Frustrated

Anyhow, I'm mostly better now, in lots of ways. I just realized I lost a bunch of weight, which is good, I'd just been exercising and not really paying attention to what it was doing to my body, so that was a pleasant surprise. I've also been spending time reflecting on myself, and made a conscious effort to make more positive changes in my life in many ways. I've seen the results from the little bit of effort I've put in, and I'll keep putting in those efforts if the results are continuously this awesome!

Yesterday, despite still being somewhat ill, I had a fun date with a girl I met at a party. We hit it off pretty well, spent plenty of time together and got to know each other really well. She's definitely a keeper. Hopefully things continue to be this awesome with her, I'm excited about the possibilities but I'm not going to get ahead of myself - right now, I just want to have fun. And that's what I'm doing. She had plenty of fun too, I could see that, and that makes me happy.

I also managed to start some packing yesterday - I'm going to be moving soon and since I don't know exactly when, I need to get the packing done in advance of the move. Hopefully I'll have it knocked out before the end of next week, and then all that'll be left is the stuff that I can't live without, which should be a fairly trivial matter of getting packed up. I sorted a bunch of my paperwork out and threw away a lot of stuff I didn't need - honestly, I don't know why I was holding on to some of that crap. Just need to focus on the end result. It'll be good to have my own apartment again.

Current Mood: complacent

Well, it turns out that if you stay up late every night, don't get a whole lot of sleep, and wake up early every morning - you'll probably get sick. I already knew this, actually - but I wanted to make sure it was still true. So I'm sick now. Oh well. I went home early after work yesterday and went to bed at 2:30 in the afternoon - and slept until 10pm, after which I stayed awake for around 4 hours, then went back to sleep and woke up for work this morning. Holy crap, that's a lot of sleep. I hope it helps my body get rid of whatever is causing the problems, because I'm too goddamn busy lately to be having this kind of downtime.

Current Mood: sick

Wow. I've actually been going out and having fun on a regular basis. Awesome! I went up to BAGG again on Wednesday, met a few cool people and danced with a girl through most of the night - she was grinding on me so hard she broke my cell phone clip! Haha! So yes, good times were had by all (except my cellphone, but no damage, so it's all good).

At work, my boss (who I've worked with since I've joined the company) left our store and will be training for a promotion in another part of the bay. I'm happy for him, it'll be a big promotion, and he's certainly worked hard for it, and he deserves it - but it sucks that I won't be able to see him at work on a regular basis. He was probably my closest friend at work, and it sucks to see him go. Nevertheless, I shall keep on truckin, or something to that effect. I have my own career to worry about, and hopefully I'll be getting promoted in short order. In fact, my old boss mentioned to me that when he has his own store, he'll probably offer me a promotion there. W00t.

I've still not been getting much sleep, and last night was the only exception this week, I think. However, I still had a blast last night at the Edges Mardi Gras party, which was totally packed with people, lots of which I hadn't met yet. So, I mingled, I socialized, I watched somebody get fucked on the fucking machine... yep, just the usual stuff. =D I introduced myself/hung out with some of the new(ish) people last night and overall, I had a pretty good time. It's been longer than I like since I've played, and hopefully that situation will be remedied soon. We'll see how that turns out - even if my secret evil plans don't come to fruition, I'm sure one of my friends will take me up on a playdate. =)

Current Mood: excited

Well, over the last few days, things are starting to show signs of changing for the better. S had found someone who was interested in the apartment, so she wrote me a note that instructed me to clean my room so it'd be presentable when he got there, and closed with a 'Happy Valentine's Day'. It was a sweet gesture. I should be doing that stuff anyway, but it was nice to get a friendly communication from her. She also got me nerds for V-Day. You are what you eat, I suppose.

S and I talked about stuff on Thursday - nothing too serious, but we were both feeling better about the situation and it showed, and that was certainly a relief. I'm not in as much of a hurry to move out now - the living situation isn't as stressful, so the urgency has disappeared. I'm still pretty sure moving out and living on my own again will be best for me, especially considering the interesting direction I plan to take my life in. Regardless, I have to wait till she finds a roommate till I can move, so if I'm gonna be stuck here till then, I may as well feel good about it.

Later that night, I'd had plans to meet up with a friend in San Bruno - except when I got to San Bruno and called her (like I said I would) she informed me she was in a different city (despite the fact that I texted her that I was on my way...) she said she was driving in circles and didn't know what the plan was yet. So I camped out at my mom's house and hung out online till she called me back. She did, and she was waiting to get to a friend's house before she knew what was gonna happen. I told her to call me back after she got there. She didn't. Apparently, there was some kind of pregnancy-related emergency (on her friend's part) and she couldn't hang out. Well, shit. I told her no big deal, I'd have fun without her. So I did.

I drove back home, got online, hung out for a little bit, and talked myself into heading to the bar. This was a Big Deal for me, because I don't go to bars often, nor do I do it alone. But I needed to expand my social circle, and I needed to get over my fear of meeting new people. So I headed to my local bar. As I was waiting in line to get inside, I was trying to think of how I was going to act once I got inside - but I instantly forgot once I was inside. It was packed. I was fighting my instinct to leave. I stayed, and I ended up running into a bunch of people I hadn't seen in a long time. (This is a theme) Anyhow, I had a couple of drinks, got sufficiently buzzed, and had a good time. Next, I need to work on opening sets. But I'll get into that another time, and probably in another place.

On Wednesday night, Valentine's day, I was planning on calling this girl who was upset about working that night - and I'd put it off till pretty late in the evening. I was going to leave a message if she didn't answer and have her call me back to do something spontaneous and fun after she got off work - but I didn't. Instead, I got an unexpected call from my father. I hadn't heard from him in months, and I was expecting him to ask me for something, or want to use me again.

It didn't happen. I was pretty surprised. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and so we started talking. He asked me if I wanted to come up to San Francisco to have dinner with him. And you know what, that sounded like a really good idea. I told him I'd be on my way, got dressed, and headed out. Before I left, I realized it was Wednesday - I hadn't been to Bondage-A-Go-Go in months, and if I was heading up to the city, I might as well hang out there. I got directions from my dad's place to BAGG, I'd head there after we had dinner.

The dinner was nice. My dad introduced me to all of his coworkers (we had dinner at the restaurant he's working at) and he seemed like he was proud of me. We talked a little bit, but it was mostly filler - I hadn't really interacted with him in a while, and I couldn't tell him what was going on in my life, because he wouldn't understand. He's a pretty simple guy, and telling him I'm kinky, oh and I got into a polyamorous relationship with a girl whom I moved in with shortly afterward, and now I'm moving out... well, yeah, I'd be worried his head would explode. In reality, he probably just wouldn't get any of it, and would just give me the same "don't worry about the girls son, they will come to you" advice that he did give me, while we were driving home.

BAGG was fun. I had a blast. I got there later than I anticipated, but it seems like it only gets busier as it gets later. I hadn't gone solo in a large social atmosphere like that, where I didn't know anybody, since I went to the Citadel months ago. It was extremely daunting. I was so, so nervous. I am going to keep doing this until I become comfortable, that's something I need to do. Anyhow, lucky for me, I ran into someone I knew and hadn't seen in months, who I was comfortable enough with to approach, particularly since she was lookin at me a whole bunch. Or at least I think she was. We talked a little, reminisced, and I probably clung to her a bit too much. After we all stuck around for the blood wrestling (oh yes), I separated and explored the club on my own. I was trying to build up the courage to approach a group of strangers, when someone reeled me in.

I'd been watching a pair of girls and a guy sitting at a booth, and one of the girls did something... I don't remember quite what, but it was worthy of a faux-shocked look. She caught me staring in mock-surprise, and asked if I was voyeuristic. I asked her if she thought I was a voyeur - and then I was in. But once I had broken into the group, I didn't know what else to do. I was pretty silent. Eventually the group got bigger, and we moved around the club - I started talking to another girl who came up to us, and flirted with her quite a bit... talked about kink, pulled her hair, other stuff. It was fun. But I didn't play it quite right, so while she was grinding me on the dance floor earlier in the evening, she lost interest later. But even a partial success is an improvement on nothing.

On Tuesday (Yes, I realize I'm going backwards) I went to a karaoke mixer I knew of from a circle of friends I had a long time ago. I hadn't been involved with them in years, and a few even recognized me. I danced a bit, had a somewhat cute older woman interested in me, and generally had a good time. I even sang a few songs, too. Holy crap, the geek is becoming social! Say it ain't so! Hehe. Hopefully this trend of going out and having fun and being a social animal continues, because damn, I might just actually enjoy it.

All this fun has come at a price, unfortunately. I haven't gotten a full night's sleep since Monday night. I need to start getting to bed earlier. And holy shit, it's 3:33 AM. Time to hit the sack.

Current Mood: tired